laughting at tears.

is it worth that i do my best and noone ever says :well done.
well then . don't give a sh** what the saying ore what they a not saying, if you don't know what you want in your life. LIVE YOUR LIFE. noone says you have to had a dream or a goal.
they way is the goal .

i cryed a lot the last time and just at that moment i stoped an guessed.: It's my life!
hopefully i go for that sentence longer than 3 secounds.
:D
good bye and good night.

last post was years ago

people . kids. lovers, girls, boys, men , women,

there are all searching just for one thing in the world - love.!

FAIL. no not all.
if you allready got your love what are u searching for, ?!
What if you never searched for love just for your work or your hobbys.
oh dear i never lookt at it, like this is gonna be a new form of living .
dear dear.
my life is changing again.
and it's changing very fast :(
so I'm always missing something.
and losing more and more. , where a the good new news for me?!

bam bam plz look at my pics.
on flickr.

good morning depression.and good night love.

I'm calm again.
but I'm also ill. >.<
hell yeah, but there isn't something i really miss.

I accept, that noone can change the past and you only have to look into the future and hope that it's gonna be great .

and my future is more then great it's marvellous <3>

especially because of him.
yeha i know I'm always tell you about him like I'm a 12 year old who is new in love?!
( die gamma !! xD )
well he's my frist and only love.
so kids go and take your dugs , go and use your love on senseless guys.
i found him. <3

scraed and wtf?!

THE PROOF?!

the point,.

i hope noone ever will read this.!


ich stehe morgens auf , es ist verdamt kalt, und ich will nicht auf die uhr sehen.
nach dem duschen ist es auch nicht wärmer.
die tägliche frage : gehst du frühgstücken drängt sich auf,
es gäbe : schokocornflackes nutella und weckerl und, da ruft schon mein kleiner teufel im kopf:
FEEEEEEETT
aber der herr magen schreit. : SCHEIßDRAUF.>knurrrrrr..
und meine zunge sagt : LECKER:DD


in der schule ist es nichts anderes. das essen besteht auch nur aus kohlenhydrahte und schokolade

ich sehe sie mir jeden tag an und jeden tag denke ich mir.
ich wünschte ich wäre sie.
dann kommen diese endlosen fressattacken, früher endeten sie am klo . kotzend.
doch das geht jetzt nicht mehr, weil ich ja die pille nehme.

mein leben an sich ist ganz schön.
aber ich kriegt es nicht auf die reihe.
wenn ich bei ihm bin. geht es, ich esse regelmäßig , geziehlt, habe immer etwas zu tun.

dann sitze ich auch noch in der schule neben denn zwei dünnsten, eines ist model.
ich esse etwas und habe so ein schlechtes gewissen das ich mich bluten sehen möchte . schreihend und leidet aus selbsthass.
aber ich kann das ihm nicht antun. .

dieser teufelskreis wird er jemals enden.?!

made from someone at somewhere.

NEW :D raw raw raw :P

new year :D
what should i say.
I'm late , I'm more than late . .

My intents for this year
( lern better english for the blog :P )
write more :)
loose some weight . . and such "normal" things.


.. oh and only put MY fotos online !



well the new started really great with all the friends and my boyfriend.:)
the holidays are almost over but I've got the feeling that this gonna be a good year.

and I've got some new pictures as I said.
so well . good year 2011

don't let the monsters eat your bed ^^

If the sun . . .

winter makes ma depressiv.
but x-mas makes me smile :)

the last test next week. and only a view problems left.
then i can turn my head off and sleep till the sun comes again. ♥

the normal would just say: shit.

cellphonedevil. fooddemon.desirehellhound.

wamp wamp. i can't sleep.
i can't do anything.

my head . my head >.<>

thats the reason why it is called live.

so.


you call it your greatest love.
ur only one.
but after a time it is back.
the usuall feeling.
the usual depression of the cause. there are so many songs
which explain this feelings. :
dead memories.
baby come on.
given in death. . .

and so on. nice day. guys.;)

send it for me.

don't want to speak this shit.
can't even speak out want i think.

>.< what happened to my english?

finny and sat

:(
fat and skinny had a race
all around the pillow case
fat fell down and broke her face
skinny said: haha i won the race.


the mood is on the ground just of the size and of my weight

hell what is happening i should be happy
but i can't

damn . go on drinking alcohol and say fuck:P

fuking new stuufff

http://www.flickr.com/photos/drop_aw/

beetween. fears and hope.

studying and dreaming
eating and worrying

damn. i would do everything for him.
i would change my whole life for him.
i want to save him
i want to cure him.
i love him
damn i miss him so much.

i give a damn what you think.!

I'm not afraid?!
I AM afraid.

this times come back.
I'm alone.


blind from now.!


:/ but still hanging on this rope .
come take my hand.!

boringbaby.

wow.
waisting day.
new hobby of me.!


drawing the curtain. cause outside is this real world
this perfekt world :(

he hate and love it but if we need it we don't know it :p

tomorrow the school starts. what should i say. xD nothing but i love my school so . . . there is no problem. This day : first day in boarding school is always a bit confusing :) but i hope this year will be great. good bye and good night. ah sry my weight: i don't know. but not as much as last time thank good I love my boyfriend.♥

. upupup. that make sense!

i want . . .
i want . . .
to start every sentense with i want is very exhausting.

but i want to move to 45 kilos.
wtf.
how can i ever make it?!

the power comes from . . . ?!
how every you'll see how I get along.!

today starts with 56,5 kilos
damn -.-

.airplanes.

I can really use a wish right now.


wish I was him not I !

Just gonna stand there and watch me burn

this post is for all the children of divorce i know to much of them. I'm so sorry for them. damn fucking love can be difficult. but hey. don't give up. someones out there who will hold your hand If you need a backround.


for all of them :P, Z, S, A, T, M, M , J , V , R , S ,V . . .


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uelHwf8o7_U





one day everythings perfect just for you. ♥