what happend to my sunshine boy.?

he's clam.
he has the perfection of selfconfidence.
he's clever.
good looking.


but he is to perfekt.
what ever will be he would make me smile
i would say. :)

and there is one thing i would never do again.
to love !

staying doesn't mean, i like u.

ha.
theres this aweful tast in my mouth.
that sucks.
there are this hills of fat in me.
there is this suppressed feeling that i hate him.
just because of his voice.

so I'm failing
or I'm just to stupid to recognise that I'm dreaming . . .
what ever today's Wednesday.

and in the end we 'll see what happend.!

i don't wanna be anything other than me. . .

new addiction: one tree hill.
and everyday depression.
just like today. : sitting in the car, waiting for my parents and thinking of everydaything
but then i saw paul... just a friend, he didn't see me but the first idea i got was:
I'm too fat
so a cried till my parents entered the car.


where am I ?
could i be that I'm lost ?


>> I can't close my eyes and make it go away<<
[ sunday bloody sunday]

where du i have to go.. .

.my laptop broken,
everyday I'm so confussed,
this week was also very stange.



.should i wait for the right?
should i stay and fight?
should i make a desicion?
or should i keep crawling to my own weapon.?
[listening to: disturbia rihanna]



.at first the hills will grow^^
the eyes will be closed
if you will for the most.
than they 'll see you're gettin sicker inside.
[listening to: russian roulette rihanna]


.ending bye bye

the right thing .?!

i've never believed that i could ever survive without my laptop.
anyway, i guess i have chanced my life into a better life.
I have to tell you about that:

from 31.12 everthing went well, untill now.
today i was at the great "grimming therme" with my parent.
yesterday i was snowboarding.
and from 31.12 i was at 3 drifferent places and never at home.

it's like a rush of felling great.
i hope it never ends.!

the only thing / person who is missing ...
is the love .

but i gotta feeling :)
that he will come soon


never ending good <3
bye bye


listening : the prodigy- omen

flick_flickr.

. . .
damn damn damn.
i'm IN flickr.


so i ho´pe i really got the cam to christmas.

ou ou. it'S the 21th of Dez.
just 3 days yet
<3

christmas standing.?!

wow the last blog entry is so long ago.

between that time so much happend with me...
first i got so drunk and i had so much fun with my sister .
we went to "bollwerk" and watched new moon in the starmovie liezen.


and then i got sick.
for me now, it was like i had sleept all the time.
because i just got up drank tea ,watched tv or even slept.

now christmas is comming and i so happy and this feeling <3


listening to : i caught myself - paramore