harder than ever?.

I always need the right sound when I'm writting my blog...
so i think 'we are broken' is a good song.

I'm just sitting in my bed with my boxers, a old t-shirt and my online-dictinoary.

Today was a stange and a in a kind of ways a bit funny day.
On sunday my grandmother has got her 80th birthday.
and all my relatives will come to her party.
We also have got a presentation for her on a big canvas..or how i should call it.
what ever..
My family is very nervous .
They want no mistakes or disturbances.


[-like my dad now.
i'm writting and he switches the Internet off.
he's my dad but he doens't understand me.
i'm really scared ...
what would be if i marry such a man?]

next week i want to drive to vienna with some of my friends but onbody has time.
and i've saved so much money just for that.

maaan
what the f***
is going on this summer.?


all my best freinds chance ..
but that would be okay.

but they haven't got time for me because they have now other good friends and that's only
because we aren't going on the same school ...

it kills me!!!
it's really hard because i'm sitting here always in that smal place and when i want to
visit my friends i've to drive one hour.
and in school-time .
in linz.
there are not the right people..
don't misundersand me.

they are nice and friendly and funny but i'm not open.
i need much time to trust in a person and to love her ..him..


hey guys i wont sleep much even.
but i want come to an end .


'what if'.................................?


bye bye.