16 and not already dead^^

hey there.
this weekend was my 16.th birthday.
oh it was so lovely and great^^

i did nothing
just studing for this sick test


-.-


my presents:
many chocolate bars
a perfum form my mother
money,
and other stoff like that.

this week there so much i have to do.
to study and to buy
that my head nearly is exploding.


. . but i'm just trying to be happy.

i got a secret. <3

. woaahrrr .

why is .growing up. so hard.

okay. I'm shy.
but mi shyness is so big ..
today i waited 2 hours in the cold
and just because I'm so shy.


tahha. ;D
I need a made couch.^^



my brain doesn't work really creativ today.
so i have to leave


.this secrets will kill us
.so get on your knies and prey for .
.forgiveness.
> chelsea smile<

breekatchu..

sunday is still the day i stay up long.
today was a bit stange
but great.

i wrote with 2 guys .
it was fun.


.still thinking of one boy.

save you.!

or save me.

you already know.
sitting in my room in linz.
hate it.

parents treat you like a 5-year old child.
to hate myself about my body.

to doesn't like the school and everything.
it's so terrorising to me.


i could cry everynight.
i could scream everyday.
i hat this life and i must love it
and i don't have a choice

last blog was better.
and it is getting worse.!!!


:[

Tom's diner...

don't read the last post.
it was shit...

it all stayed the same.

and i can't helf myself.

ich schreib mal wieder auf deutsch oder so ein schlechtes deutsch wie ich es eben habe.
ich finde langsam wird Linz richtig nerfig und langweig und
ich weiß nicht wo ich meinen Ergeiz her bekommen soll.

Ich verliere langsam die Menschen die ich liebe
und dass ist das schlimmste was passieren kann.
aber ich kann es nicht stoppen weil ich hier draußen bin.


do do do do...

*listening to >Tom's diner<

never black.?!

it is 13:15.
I'm listening to Jack Johnson - If i had eyes.

i decide to wear not so much black and see life clearly different then ever.



.In or out of love.?!.

killing in the name of..

oh in the last time i've really forgotten to think about my dream.
you know.
to go to the usa.

I was busy in lerning.
school is really irritaiting ;]

Apart from english. and the art subjects.
but even so i forgott the homework in english and maths.
warrrrrrrrr*




and the weekend... no it was so hard for me.
to accept that boys are just kissing maschiens.

and i also had to understand that i don't know how to talk to them, anymore.
anyway to react if i see one.
for me they are like the dinosaurs. :D



Now i believe i get sick .or i'm already sick.
anyway
i want home in my bett.

*thinking: the week will last just two days...*


bye bye
and good night .<<3